Recently I read a story: “My name is Paul and I am a recovering perfectionist. I am also recovering from depression. The two are connected. I had been trying to do too much, too well, trying to please too many people, expecting too much of myself for too long, putting too much pressure on myself, creating too much stress. That’s a lot of ‘too much’ for one person. My self-esteem took a battering, I stopped looking forward to anything and I felt like I was useless and hopeless.” And he goes on with his story.
This is not the story of Paul alone. The world is full of such Pauls. They are going neurotic with such desires of being perfectionists and end up in the ditch of depression.
What is the solution?
The wise tell us that the world is perfect as it is. You cannot ask for more. But some people are never satisfied. They want to improve things. They are so obsessed with their idea of perfection that they would improve upon God’s creation too. Their obsession drives others crazy.
Here’s an interesting anecdote: a king passing through a small town saw what he took to be indications of amazing marksmanship. On trees, barns and fences there were many archery boards, each with a bullet hole in the bull’s eye. He could not believe his eyes. It was almost a miracle of achievement. He himself was a good marksman and had known many great marksmen in his life, but never seen anything like this. He wanted to meet the expert. He turned out to be a madman. “This is sensational! How in the world do you do it?” he asked the madman. “I am a good shooter too, but cannot match your skill. Please tell me!”
“Easy as pie!” said the madman, laughing uproariously. “I shoot first and draw the circles in later!”
Osho tells us not to be perfectionists. He says that perfectionism is the root cause of all neurosis. Unless humanity gets rid of the very idea of perfection, it will never ever be sane.
The very idea of perfection has driven the whole of mankind to a state of utter madness. To think in terms of perfection means that you are thinking in terms of ideology, goals, values, shoulds, should nots… you have a certain pattern to fulfil, else you feel immensely guilty. And the pattern is bound to be such that you cannot achieve it. If you do achieve it, then it will not be of much value to your ego!
Perfectionism is a neurotic idea. An intelligent person will understand that life is an adventure, a constant exploration. That is its very joy! Perfection means a full stop. Perfection means ultimate death. There is no way to go beyond it. Perfectionists take life as a puzzle and look for solutions. But for the wise, life is a mystery to be lived with a sense of wonder.
You should be perfectly and acutely aware of the difference between a mystery and a problem. A problem is something created by the mind but a mystery is something which is already there. A problem has some ugliness in it, like a disease.
A mystery, on the other hand, is beautiful. With a problem, fights arise. Something is wrong and you have to put it right; something is missing and you must supply the missing link. With a mystery, there is no question of a fight. The moon arises in the night — that is not a problem, it is a mystery. You live with it. You dance with it. You sing with it. Or you can be silent with it. Mystery surrounds you.
Swami Chaitanya Keerti, editor of Osho World, is the author of Osho Fragrance
Also published at: www.asianage.com